Never Grow Up
by mur xo
Summary: Clare finds out her parents are going to get divorced and Eli's not returning her phone calls. My version of what should have happened after 'Love Lockdown Pt. 2.' A lot of sicky-sweet EClare fluff!


**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything. I don't own the the characters, the plot, or Degrassi. If I had a mind as creative as that then I wouldn't be wasting my time writing fanfiction. :)

**Author's Note**: So, this is my _second_ attempt at a Degrassi fanfic. This is how my version of Clare and Eli's talk after their fight in Love Lockdown Pt. 2 would have played out. Hope you guys like it and please review! I need constructive criticism so I can provide you all with more fluffy EClare moments. Also, if any of you have any requests, for any Degrassi fanfics, please let me know. I usually do Harry Potter request fics, but I'm kind of getting obsessed with writing Degrassi ones! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

**NEVER GROW UP**

_"__Divorce is like two lions in a den attacking each other. You know somebody is going to get hurt real bad. All kids can do is sit behind a window and watch it happen."_

Clare Edwards had made a complete and utter fool out of herself in public. She had dressed up, in a costume of sorts, to prove a point, to send a message loud and clear, to state that she was not the same girl whom she used to be. Clare wanted, no, _needed_, to be different. No longer could she be _Saint_ Clare, the overzealous Christian who spent her Friday lunch hours with her fellow Jesus _freaks_. No longer could she be _Saint_ Clare, the all-A student who spent her Saturdays and Sundays working on important school projects. No longer could she be _Saint_ Clare, the daughter who spent her free time helping her parents, who never caused so much as a breeze of trouble. No, to prove her point, to make it really stick, she needed to be a different kind of Clare, a _rebellious_ Clare, the type of Clare that no one else would recognize.

So she had, or at least tried, to become a different person. Clare had found an outlet in her new boyfriend, finding his less desirable habits fairly easy to pick up. Clare could skip classes. Clare could get piercings. Clare could do anything that Eli threw at her, anything to make her parents take their anger out on her and stop fighting. She had been successful, thus far, in upsetting both Randall and Helen. They were concerned for their youngest daughter, concerned with some of the choices she was making. But no matter what new stunt Clare pulled, their fighting would always continue and it always seemed to be getting worse.

Clare thought for sure that the dinner the night before would do the trick. She thought that after being introduced to Eli, and after emphasizing the fact that he didn't believe in God and that he drove a _hearse_, her parents would come together and focus their attention at being mad at their daughter, instead of being mad at each other. Unfortunately, that didn't work. In fact, the rise she got out of her parents had been less than satisfying. Instead of being absolutely appalled, they were mostly polite to Eli. He was, after all, a guest inside of their home, so it would make sense for them to be nothing but peachy when he was over. The moment he left the Edwards household, Clare heard her parents go right back at it, fighting about every little thing imaginable.

The only thing the fight did was make Eli furious. Clare supposed she had been pretty awful, using Eli as a sacrificial lamb, of sorts. He didn't deserve to be treated like that and quite frankly, Clare was embarrassed. Sometimes, more primal emotions take over and her fear of losing her family, the one she had loved and had loved her unconditionally for her whole life, outweighed her mortification. Not everything always goes according to plan, and this time, not only had Clare managed to push Eli away, but she was unsuccessful in gluing her family back together too. Clare Edwards felt like a walking failure.

* * *

"Eli… Please, when you get this message, call me. I'm sorry."

Clare left the voicemail on her boyfriend's phone, internally panicking because he wasn't answering her calls or texts. At least Clare realized she deserved this punishment, even if it was the unbearable silent treatment. She had humiliated Eli in front of her parents and they had already formed a mostly negative opinion on him because of her. Clare didn't emphasize the _good_ qualities that Eli possessed, such as his caring nature, his writing talent, his extreme loyalty. There were a million positive things Clare could have chosen to emphasize during that dinner that would have undoubtedly made her parents fall in love with Eli. Clare just chose not to share them.

It was already late, past ten o'clock at night, when Clare gave up the idea that Eli was going to return her various means of communication. Instead, she took to lying down on her bed, holding a pillow tight against her chest. She hugged the pillow, clinging against it for dear life, as if the harder she squeezed the more normal her life would get.

She was going to be another child who was a victim of a divorce. Perhaps _victim_ was a strong word, but Clare honestly felt that it fit her current situation. It wasn't her fault her parents could no longer get along with each other. It wasn't her fault that they were choosing to separate instead of sticking through and working things out. It certainly wasn't her fault that they fell out of love with one another. So why was she the one who seemed to be suffering the most?

Maybe it was a good thing that Eli no longer wanted anything to do with her. After witnessing her parents, Claire simply didn't believe in love. She no longer believed in the longevity of relationships. If her parents suddenly didn't like each other, to the point where they couldn't be in the same room as one another without bantering, then surely relationships of any sort were a scam. How you could one day wake up and despise the person you promised forever to was beyond Clare's comprehension.

Tears formed in Clare's eyes and she pressed her eyelids together tight, in a valiant effort to stop them from trailing down her freckled cheeks. All she could think about was how easy things were when she was little, back when she had a family. She remembered her mom and dad and her sister, all happy, all smiling. It seemed like miles and miles away, now, when they all used to be happy. Clare resented Darcy for not being there when she needed her. There was absolutely no fairness in the fact that Clare was there to deal with the brunt of the drama, while Darcy was off in Africa doing God knew what. Darcy got to be carefree, which Clare admittedly recognized her sister deserved. But Clare didn't want to be the one to sift through all this turmoil by herself.

Clare checked her phone one last time before she shut her eyes and turned off her light. She fell asleep with a heavy heart and tearstained cheeks.

* * *

"Clare?'

Clare woke up with a start at the sound of her name. She looked around her, noting that it was still dark out and that her room was significantly cooler than it was when she fell asleep. Panic started to take over her as she saw her bedroom window wide open and she opened her mouth to let out a scream. Her scream was muffled by a pale hand covering her face, shushing her in an oddly comforting motion.

"Clare, it's me… Eli."

At those words, Clare began to relax, her initial terror wearing off.

"A simple phone call would have been fine, you know," Clare whispered harshly, as she remembered all of her attempts to apologize to him.

"My phone's battery died and I had just recharged it. I got all your voicemails. I wanted to accept your apology in person."

Eli smiled seductively, reaching his arms around Clare to settle against her waist, but she pushed him away, her head shaking.

"No. No, you can't just _do_ that, Eli."

"Do… what?"

"Get mad at me and then just act like everything's all fine again. People fight and then they grow to hate each other."

Eli thought for a minute, his eyebrows hitched in slight confusion as he tried to follow Clare's train of thought. He was going to make a snide remark, and opened his mouth to retort, but shut it as soon as he saw Clare's eyes well up with tears.

"Clare…"

"No, Eli. We… One day we will just hate each other…"

A single tear fell over the brim of her eye and made its way down her face. Eli took the pad of his thumb and rubbed it away as gently as he could, before it hit the ground. It was starting to make sense to him, Clare's sudden fear. Her parents were falling out of love, so his Clare was obviously trying to protect herself before she fell in love herself.

"I don't think that's possible," he responded gently, his green eyes shining bright with sincerity.

"What do you mean? Of course it's possible. I mean now you might care about me, but one day…"

"There is nothing that you could ever do to make me hate you, Blue Eyes," he cut her off before she could say anything else, before her fears started to overwhelm her.

"How do you know?" Her voice sounded childish, as if she was a toddler inquiring from an elder on the workings of the universe.

"Because you're the sweetest, loveliest, prettiest, smartest, kindest girl I have _ever_ had the pleasure to meet."

Clare's cheeks burned bright at the compliment and a small smile graced her lips.

"I really am sorry about before. I was awful…"

"Don't worry about it. All's forgiven and forgotten."

Eli moved to take a seat on Clare's bed and he pet the comforter next to him, signaling her to sit down. One of his arms wrapped around her shoulders, and he pulled her close to him, kissing her temple.

"My parents… They told me they were getting a divorce."

Eli barely heard the words, they were whispered so softly. He frowned and nodded his head, not sure whether to feel relieved that Clare no longer had to hear her parents feuding or sad that her world was changing so drastically.

"I'm sorry, Clare," he replied earnestly, his hand squeezing her shoulder to offer her sympathy.

"I knew it was coming… I just thought that maybe… Maybe if I did something wrong they would get mad at me and forget how much they hate each other."

"There was nothing you could do. They had their minds made up and nothing you could do could stop them."

"I guess…"

Eli placed his hand under her chin and tilted her face so she was looking at him.

"_Nothing_ you could have done or said would have changed anything…"

The last thing Eli wanted was for Clare to somehow take this situation and blame herself for it. She deserved so, _so_ much more than that.

Clare nodded and relaxed her head against Eli's chest, her eyes fluttering shut.

"Will you stay with me?"

Eli nodded, and stood up, moving to the top of the bed where he pulled down the blankets. He pointed to the uncovered spot and smiled, signaling her to get into the bed. She complied wordlessly and laughed softly as Eli went through deliberate motions of tucking her into the bed. He was moving over to a chair in the corner of her room when she stopped him.

"No, Eli, sleep with me, here."

It had been sweet of him to not assume that they would be sharing a bed, to automatically take the chair over laying down next to her. But Clare needed the comfort tonight.

"Are you sure?"

Clare nodded and pulled back the blankets on that side of the bed.

"Just be sure to be gone before my parents wake up in the morning…"

Eli chuckled and nodded his head, taking his shoes off and getting into bed with her.

"See, now _that's_ more of the Clare I know…" He leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips, his index finger tucking one of her stray curls behind her ears as he pressed his lips against hers.

Clare snuggled into Eli, cuddling next to him as close as possible. Her hand reached for his and she interlocked their fingers, gripping tight onto his hand. She was grateful for his strength. Without Eli, Clare didn't really know what she would do.

"Thank you, Eli… for everything…"

"Go to sleep, Blue Eyes… Things will look better in the morning."

Clare nodded and closed her eyes, feeling warm and safe, the most relaxed she had felt in months. Eli dropped one last kiss on her forehead before shutting his own eyes, and resting his head on top of Clare's. He realized, with a start, that he actually _loved_ this girl. Seeing her upset was the worst feeling in the entire world. He figured that was when you knew you loved someone, when witnessing their pain brought you pain.

"I love you…" He heard her whisper the three words before she fell asleep and a smile fell onto his face.

"I love _you_, Clare Edwards," he whispered back, even though he knew Clare was out like a light. He loved her and from this moment on, he would never let her forget it.

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Reviews from wonderful _readers like you_ would be much appreciated!

Tell me if you hate it, or if you liked it. A simple acknowledgment would be amazing!

xo Mur


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